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Making time for love


Katrina Kibben's Weekly Letter

April 16 · Issue #150 · View online

Every week, I'll write you a letter. A letter about anything, really. My goal is just to make you think.

On the recommendation of a friend earlier this week, I listened to a podcast with Brené Brown, Roxane Gay, and Debbie Millman. The topic was Love, Life, and the Pursuit of Creative Space. I’m not usually a fan of podcasts, but I recommend that you add this episode to your queue. 
As I was smiling listening to a lesbian love story that we hear so rarely, Brené asked the couple if they had to make time for art. Their schedules and story made it pretty apparent that both of these highly creative, brilliant people were busy. When do they even find the time to create?
I’ll admit I was hoping for some magical answer. I was expecting Roxane would say something about her work style like, “I hold three days a week just to write.” 
But that’s not what she said. She said, “God no. I don’t have time. I make time.” Roxane explained that there’s never time for the work she loves between all of her competing priorities. 
Sound familiar? Yeah, me too. 
But that’s not the part that stood out to me. It’s what Roxane said next: “I love to write. When you love to write, you have to make time, or the rest of the work that’s a consequence of the writing never feels right.” 
I hit rewind and listened again. I know she’s right, especially as I take this message in just a few days after meeting my niece for the first time and realizing that time is magic.  
I’ve learned that when you never make time for what and who you love, it sucks the joy out of being alive. Even your favorite tasks feel like they’re stealing your time. Everything isn’t on the line. I can’t ruin it all in a day: my business, life, or anything else. Maybe a cake. I can mess up a cake in a day.
I still remember the feeling that washed over me after meeting this baby - a mix of exhaustion, emotion, and immense love. It was a life-shifting moment of acceptance. A new awareness that I didn’t want to be the person who rushed out before rocking her to sleep so I could draft a blog post. I have to make time. A realization that I didn’t want to live a life where I was leaving something I love behind for a laptop at night.
The more I reflect, the more I realize that I have rarely made the time to do the things I love. I prioritized everything that fell into the success bucket and rarely made time to create a bucket that’s just about doing what I love. I acted like a needle in a room full of balloons. That’s just not real. 
I’ve realized that loving your life is not an aspiration but something we have to manifest at the moment. It’s not a poster on the wall or journaling every day. It’s not success by everyone else’s standards, either. 
It’s living in the moment and making time for the things you love, so the other inevitable crappy parts don’t feel so hard. 
PS This week’s blog post is about who should “own” writing the job post. Is it the hiring manager or the recruiter? I’ll tell you why I think the answer should be recruiters every time. 

Hiring Managers Shouldn’t Write Job Postings
Brené with Roxane Gay and Debbie Millman on Love, Life, and the Pursuit of Creative Space | Brené Brown
Three Ears Media Store
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